”Those who deface a Hummer in words or deed, deface the American flag and what it stands for.”
September 11, 2001 was a day of great loss. Whole generations were forced to open their eyes, and it had resounding effects on the American identity. Ignorance was commercialized as patriotism. We entered the second longest war in American history sold as earned revenge. But let’s not forget (#NeverForget) the tackiest consequence of 9/11, besides all those country songs—Hummers.
What do you think of when you think of American car culture? The pick up truck. Muscle cars. The Cadillac. Yeah, those are informative choices, but let’s not forget the bastardized SUV.
I’m talkin’ Suburbans. I’m talkin’ Grand Cherokees. I’m talkin’ Tahoes. Want more? We’ve got Explorers (!), Expeditions (!!), and Excursions (!!!). Let’s not forget the foreign cousins. They deserve a shout out especially if our government is cool with them: Pathfinder, G-Wagon, Pilot.
But what about the macdaddy? The frankenstein, hell rat, that you’ve all come to see…
The Hummer.
The Hummer began its first life as the Humvee, the “vehicular backbone of the US Military”. It grew in popularity during the Gulf War for its ability to navigate dry, rough terrain and, eventually, the mountainous areas of Afghanistan and Iraq.
The Humvee is imposing. It’s loud, bulky, and it sends a statement, “I’m coming through whether you like it or not!” The Humvee is a parade of divine democracy. When I think of the Humvee, I think of the physical and cultural encroachment of the United States into the Middle East. There is no separating the Hummer from the Humvee. The boxy, modern figure is a ghost of war.
As the legend goes…
Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger saw a Humvee on the set of a movie. Arnold pulled down his sunglasses (not sure about this part), spit out his cigar (this part either), clapped his hands together, and demanded one for his very own (very possible). I imagine he picked up the cigar and chewed on it while he inspected the tires. He probably prayed at his bedside that night in one of his Hawaiian button down shirts.
Why wouldn’t the biggest action star of all time want one? It’s like a giant business card. A civilian Humvee says all the same things a military one does, “Don’t fuck with me.”
Cars have always been about more than their practicality. They are about status and wealth. The Hummer is about more than wealth. It is a symbol of man. Testosterone. It is about war whether it’s waged on a battlefield or an interstate.
In 1992, the citizen Hummer was created.
In 1999, AM General sold the Hummer brand to General Motors.
In 2004, an average of 30,000 Hummers were sold per year.
You can’t help but notice a Hummer at an intersection. They demand to be seen.
As the fight in the Middle East raged on, we decided to show solidarity through our choice in music, clothes, policies, and vehicles. It was an American right to drive a large, off terrain vehicle with nowhere to take it but to soccer practice or Olive Garden. As our boys fought, we fought gas prices. We protected the streets and flashed our patriotism in the face of others because we knew loss, and we would never show weakness again.
That’s the thing with war: the longer it lasts, the farther and farther away we get from our initial cause (if there ever was one). It became very clear that this war was not about democracy. It was not about catching a terrorist.
It was about oil, and by 2008, oil betrayed us. The national average spiked at $ 4.11 per gallon, and the 2008 Gas Crisis hit that summer. I remember this because I was a new car owner. I was working as a receptionist at a salon, reading Native Son behind the counter for my summer reading. Most of my modest salary went to fuel.
Hurricane Katrina, a lingering war with a lost cause, and a looming recession. These were all things that hit at the ego of the American way. We looked at politicians for answers, and we looked at Hummers as a disgusting reminders of our glutton and anger.
It’s no wonder they did not last. When I see a Hummer now, usually with an energy drink advertisement plastered to the side, it is like looking at a wooly mammoth, an antique to a long fought truth that we can’t win against any longer—the American way is a dying breed.
Sources:
https://www.quirks.com/articles/the-strange-tale-of-hummer-the-life-and-death-of-a-brand
McMillennium 